A Bishop had a reputation for preaching long and very boring sermons.
His reputation spread rapidly because each Sunday he used to visit a different parish to preach. One day he arrived at a small country church and was welcomed by the vicar who was looking a bit flustered. He led the bishop into the church and to the bishop’s surprise and annoyance there were only three people in the congregation.
‘Didn’t you tell them I was coming?’ he asked the vicar angrily.
‘I certainly did not, Bishop,’ replied the vicar, ‘but I shall find out who did.’

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The vicar’s wife said to the visitor at the door:
‘I’m afraid the vicar is out, but if it is really important, he will see you.’

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During an executive meeting of the Council of Churches, there was a smell of burning in the hall where the meeting was being held. The Salvation Army Officer leapt up to his feet shouting ‘Fire, fire!’ The Methodist stood up and shouted, ‘Order, order!’ The Baptist got to his feet and said excitedly, ‘Water, water!’ The Anglican remained seated and said, ‘ I think we should set up a sub-committee to look into the matter.’

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Page last updated on 3rd July 2021.